So as much as I say that I’m not into numbers and tell my students not to rely solely on statistics, I feel the need to quantify this point, this juncture in my life in terms of numbers. I am at 76%. At a research meeting last Friday where we went over the first chapter of my dissertation, I proudly announced that I was approximately 76% done collecting my data. I am also nearly 3/4ths done with my doctoral program, which means I’m on the job market and will continue to be on the job market most likely for the next year.
I am at that point in my life, too, where I feel a “turn” coming. I used to hate running metaphors for life, but now I am a true fan. Every time I run at the gym, I approach a point in the run where am over half way done, but not yet close to the finish line. During a 5K, it is usually after the 25 minute mark. I call this juncture “the turn”. It is different than the beginning, where everything is fresh and new and naive and your muscles remember how to move a certain way. The half way point, or half time, or middle is usually coined with some sort of celebration as well – you’re suddenly embarking on the second half of a task, a goal. This next part, the part right before the end, is the hardest. The end has all of its joys and melancholy and sweet closure. No, I am not there yet, I haven’t finished. But I’m closer to the end than the beginning.
This after-half-way-point is what I am calling the 76% turn. It is that moment where you decide whether or not you’re going to stay or go. You have put in a lot of work, effort, but you really don’t have a lot of energy left and you may question why you set up this foundation in the first place. It is the 7 year itch in relationships (or the 4 year itch in lesbian-town). It is the conversation before the decision. It is that body paragraph right before the stunning conclusion. It is the scene in the movie that precedes the climax. It is the penultimate.
All of what I have done up until this point, all of the physical strength, the time, the time, the energy, the sacrifices, has lead up to this point. Once I reach “the turn” during minute 25 of my run, much positive self-talk ensues. You can do this! Turn up the music. You turned the corner, peered around the other side and you will see results. But the thing is: the results are already in front of my face. I already made it 25 minutes, 2.2 miles of running non-stop, and the end, the conclusion to this mental marathon is perhaps the easiest part. Sure, the end is nice – it gets all the credit, all the appreciation, all the support. But being at 76% in the thick of it, in the boring but necessary part of the journey? That’s really where it’s at.
